


downpour

by dustandstatic



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Established Relationship, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Romance, pre full release
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:01:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22231462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustandstatic/pseuds/dustandstatic
Summary: He is still hovering. Too close to leaving. Zagreus measures the distance between his feet and the floor. The distance between him and the bed. Not close enough.
Relationships: Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 29
Kudos: 992





	downpour

Zagreus has barely made eye contact before Thanatos announces his departure.

"We'll catch up later," he says and a pale glow surfaces on his skin but Zagreus pierces it with his fingers, grabbing for Thanatos' wrist.

"Twenty," he says. It sounds like an accusation.

"Zagreus?" Thanatos blinks at his captive wrist.

"You've said that twenty times now," Zagreus says. It _is_ an accusation. "Sometimes you don't even turn to face me first." 

"Not now," Thanatos tries, but Zagreus doesn't let go.

"Then when?" he asks, an angry edge to his voice. "Is it something I did?" 

Thanatos glances somewhere past his shoulder. When he returns his gaze to Zagreus, it looks troubled.

"Zag, I really can't right now. We'll talk later. I promise."

He doesn't say anything else. He just looks at Zagreus and then at his wrist, Zagreus' fingers still wrapped tightly around it.

And Zagreus squeezes, burning like he's about to explode. But then he lets go. 

He almost misses Thanatos murmur of "thanks" before the light spirits him away. Zagreus' now empty hand falls uselessly to his side. He clenches his fist.

*

When Zagreus returns to his room after making the rounds, Thanatos is there.

"You're here," says Zagreus, as if he's not quite sure.

"I am," Thanatos replies.

Zagreus wasn't expecting him just moments after his attempted confrontation. He isn’t ready to summon his anger again so shortly after having to calm down. He finds himself distracted just seeing Thanatos in his room.

He is still hovering. Too close to leaving. Zagreus measures the distance between his feet and the floor. The distance between him and the bed. Not close enough.

Their eyes meet. From outside the room, Orpheus' singing pours into the silence. Slow, sweeping.

"You said you wanted to talk," Thanatos says slowly, but his gaze drops to Zagreus' lips. 

The room around them feels smaller. Warmer. Zagreus feels warmer too. He steps closer, ears buzzing with music and heat. It's clear from the look in his eyes, the way Thanatos watches him approach. Talking can wait. 

This time it's Zagreus who says it, reaching for Thanatos' outstretched hand and allowing it to pull him in. 

"We'll talk later." 

*

They do talk later, sitting side by side in the courtyard, looking out over the endless shifting of Tartarus' depths. Zagreus' skin still glows.

“It’s just a bit too convenient,” he says. He doesn't sound as angry anymore. He runs a hand through his disheveled hair. "How you’re always busiest whenever I’m at the house. Don’t you think?”

“You’re suggesting Lord Hades is purposely keeping us apart,” Thanatos frowns. "You think I’d allow myself to be manipulated like that?"

It’s not a talk either of them want to have, that much is clear. Thanatos simply speaking Hades’ name is enough to leave a sour taste in Zagreus’ mouth. Just because he decided to reject him doesn’t mean Thanatos can do the same.

"When it's my father doing the manipulating? Why yes, yes I do," Zagreus says. 

"That’s," Thanatos averts his eyes. “It’s complicated.”

"Of course it is," Zagreus sighs, his frustration bleeding through. "Isn’t it always. What, you don’t think I’d be able to understand? Is that it?"

"Perhaps, yes," Thanatos admits. "Just as I’ll never be able to fully understand the complications of _your_ situation."

Zagreus is taken aback. The way Thanatos can say such things without a second of hesitation. The pain of truth never seemed to bother him. It bothers Zagreus, though.

“I still have hope that you and Lord Hades can somehow reconcile,” Thanatos continues past Zagreus’ quiet, looking at him with such sincerity it’s almost uncomfortable. “But my loyalty to him won’t come between us. I thought you’d know that by now, considering everything that’s happened.”

Shame surfaces as a faint brush of red below Zagreus’ eyes. He does know. He knows how much Thanatos puts on the line, how much he risks for every second they get to spend in each other’s company. The time they spent just now, unmaking Zagreus' bed. And here he is, complaining that it isn’t enough.

Thanatos’ hood sits crooked on his shoulders. His eyes are soft like this, alive, when they switch between Zagreus’ red and green. 

It isn’t enough. _It isn’t enough._

Thanatos must know it too, the mourning hidden in his gaze as he lets it travel along Zagreus’ jaw. 

A chill moves through the yard, and Zagreus feels a weight tug on his heart. Thanatos is a breath away from leaving again. He’s come to recognize it, the tells in his posture, in his face. He clenches his fist to keep himself from grabbing Thanatos’ cloak. His father’s voice echoes through his mind, _don’t be so selfish, boy,_ and it’s deafening.

Stretched out in front of them, Tartarus seems endless. Zagreus should get going again too.

“I need to go,” Thanatos says. His face looks pained. Maybe he’s not entirely unaffected by harsh truths after all.

“I know,” Zagreus looks away as Thanatos stands, then rises.

“See you around?” Thanatos sounds careful and it’s not fair, the attitude Zagreus is giving him right now but he can’t help it. He’s disappointed and he can’t hide his feelings. His heart is still too full.

“Yeah,” he says quietly.

Thanatos holds his gaze for a moment longer, like he’s making sure of something. Then he’s gone, and Zagreus whispers his goodbyes to the void he leaves behind.

*

Zagreus thinks about death.

Not just Thanatos, but death. He thinks about the stories Achilles told him of the mortal realm, ruled by a fear of loss, how death drove great heroes to unimaginable actions, and unimaginable actions drove great heroes to death. How Gods and mortals and those who are both or neither spend lifetimes consumed by the escape from it, the chase of it, yet few are ready when it’s their time.

Perhaps he doesn’t understand after all. Death to him is different, outside of knowing him by name. Of all the times he’s died, none were brought on by Thanatos. Maybe Thanatos doesn't deal in such deaths, or maybe Zagreus has always perished before giving Thanatos a chance to retrieve him. He wonders what it would be like, to have your thread of life just...end. To have your soul cut from your body by Thanatos’ scythe, sent to roam the halls of the underworld until the end of time. No longer alive, just existing. A single drop in Styx’s waters, driven by the current.

He can’t blame mortals for fearing death. Spending eternity in his father’s realm is exactly what he’s trying to escape.

Maybe it’s impossible. To have life as well as death. To love someone inescapably bound to the place he’s desperate to flee.

It’s a good thing Zagreus never cared much for what others deemed impossible. He never would’ve set foot outside of Tartarus. He never would have met the other side of his family. He never would have realized what Thanatos meant to him and he definitely wouldn’t have had the guts to say it out loud. 

(A small, self-indulgent part of Zagreus thinks that maybe Thanatos wouldn’t have realized his feelings either, if Zagreus hadn’t gone and turned their world upside down.)

But everything he’s learned has only made him more eager to leave. By now he’s sure he’d much rather die above than live below and this strange sense of homesickness grows stronger each time he feels the frost of snow melt under his soles.

Thanatos knows that. He knows and he’s still there. He’s still at Zagreus’ side, albeit not as often as either of them would like. And Zagreus has come to learn that a life without death won’t be much of a life for him at all. He has trouble even imagining it. All of his dreams, his hopes for how the future will look, they all feature Thanatos in one way or another. Even if it’s difficult. Even if they won’t be able to share what they’ve been able to share here at the house. They’ll figure it out. Just like they're doing now.

They’ve each broken far too many rules to start worrying about them at this point, and most of those broken rules turned out to be prophecies in the end. Nothing in life is ever certain. 

Except for maybe death.

*

“Than, I’ve thought about what you said last time.”

Zagreus doesn’t wait for Thanatos to comment on his win, nor on how recklessly he fought to obtain it. He has things to say and he won’t let Thanatos leave until he’s heard them. He can see Thanatos tense up at the mention of their previous talk.

“About that,” Thanatos tries, but Zagreus stops him.

“Hold on, let me finish,” he says. Thanatos pauses and, although he seems reluctant to do so, he waits.

“I’ve been thinking, about us,” Zagreus continues. Once again Thanatos visibly flinches. He’s never looked so eager to leave as he does right now. “I know that there’s a...situation, up there, that’s been keeping you busy lately-”

Thanatos opens his mouth but Zagreus doesn’t give him the space to interrupt.

“-and the thought of my father abusing that to keep you from seeing me just...it just got to me. And I wasn’t being very considerate of you. You were right. I don’t understand the situation you’re in. I shouldn't have accused you of avoiding me. But still, I…” 

Zagreus takes a breath. He has to force himself to speak more slowly. It's difficult when there are so many feelings inside of him fighting to become words.

“I meant it when I said this isn’t some impulsive thing for me. It’s not a one time thing either. I want you. I want to be with you. Even if things don’t always go the way I’d like.” He smiles, then. “I’m not exactly easy to be with either.”

Zagreus was hoping for a laugh here, or even just that tiny grin Thanatos thinks he can hide, but Thanatos just stares at Zagreus, his face blank.

"I was kind of hoping you'd laugh at that," Zagreus admits.

"Why," says Thanatos, tilting his head just slightly. "Were you joking?"

Zagreus makes an offended noise and this time, Thanatos does laugh. The tension eases.

"Ruthless," Zagreus shakes his head. Thanatos' smiling face pulls into something more serious.

"Will you hear me now?" he asks.

Zagreus nods.

*

Thanatos doesn’t speak right away. He finds a place to sit first, lets his feet touch the soft grass of Elysium’s fields. It withers where he stands. Zagreus sits too, legs crossed to keep the grass from burning (even though it heals as soon as he steps away). Despite its beauty, Elysium wasn’t made for either of them and it shows, a slight unease in their postures, in the way that they breathe. Zagreus watches ghosts of shields and spears hover longingly above the flowers while he waits for Thanatos to find his voice.

“This is...new,” Thanatos begins, staring ahead across the fields. “It’s always just been work. Back when we were younger, it never occured to me that I’d one day have to choose.”

Zagreus listens quietly.

“That’s part of the reason why I felt so angry with you, at first. You forced me, forced all of us into a situation where we’d either betray Lord Hades, or you. It wasn’t supposed to be like that,” Thanatos sighs.

“I’m-” Zagreus starts but Thanatos interrupts.

“I’m not finished, Zag,” he says. It’s an awfully familiar situation. Zagreus aches with apologies, but he presses his lips together.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m still getting used to this,” Thanatos continues. “Dividing my time. It’s proven to be more difficult than I’d hoped. Our...relationship has changed, but my work responsibilities have not. And invoking your father’s anger is anything but pleasant.” He looks at Zagreus, who breathes out a quiet laugh. “That doesn’t mean I regret my decision.”

Zagreus waits for a moment. When Thanatos stays quiet, he allows himself to speak.

“It’s strange,” he says. “I wanted you to choose me, but when you did I just couldn’t believe it. I kept waiting for you to tell me you can’t do it anymore, that you don’t…” Zagreus fingers tense around his knees. “I guess I feel like I don’t deserve it. This. You. But I don’t want to let you go, either.”

“I think I recognize the feeling,” Thanatos says. Zagreus exhales deeply. He lets himself sway towards Thanatos until their shoulders touch.

“Is this because we both grew up without a proper father figure,” Zagreus jokes. He feels more than sees Thanatos smile. “I really like you Than,” he adds softly.

“Good,” Thanatos says. He shifts and moments later Zagreus finds his head in Thanatos’ lap, looking up into his golden eyes to a backdrop of Elysium’s skies. He can’t tell if it’s day or night.

He decides it doesn't matter.

“I think we’ll be fine,” Zagreus says. It’s hard to think differently when Thanatos looks down at him like that. Gentle. Hopeful. Content. 

Zagreus wraps a hand around Thanatos’ neck and pulls himself up just enough to meet his lips for a kiss. He feels Thanatos’ hand behind his head to support him. When they part he keeps him close enough for their noses to touch.

“I adore you,” Thanatos whispers, so soft it almost gets lost to the breeze. Zagreus all but lunges forward into another kiss, so much so that it topples them over. Any surprised noise Thanatos could have made gets swallowed by Zagreus’ tongue.

“Say that again?” Zagreus asks, breathless. His hands rest on either side of Thanatos’ flushed face, grass tickling between his fingers. 

“Absolutely not,” Thanatos smiles. “You’re dangerous when you get too full of yourself.”

Zagreus grins, showing a flash of his teeth. He frames Thanatos’ hips between his knees.

“So get me full of you,” he says. 

Thanatos lifts an eyebrow, meeting Zagreus’ taunt with curious interest. Something lights up in his eyes and Zagreus feels butterflies swarm his stomach at the sight. Seconds later it’s _his_ back pressed into Elysium’s soft grass, Thanatos hovering over him like a beautiful storm.

It never rains in paradise. 

It pours.

**Author's Note:**

> i wish the room scene with thanatos was repeatable now and then
> 
> [EDIT]  
> @solisaureus created an absolutely lovely drawing based on/inspired by this fic, please look and love it [here](https://twitter.com/solisaureus/status/1324365052015742977)!!


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